The first prayer I memorized was the Hail Mary. Every time my grandmother prayed, there was always the name Maria. Curiously, I wanted to know who was this woman Mary? Why is she so important? My grandmother told me that Mary was the mother of Jesus, and our Mother. This is what I remember about the Virgin Mary.
As my knowledge of Maria grew and deepened, I came to know her in two ways, as a friend who is on a spiritual journey and as a mother; I learned from María how to cultivate my heart. Maria’s way is to cultivate life. I learned a lot from Maria, and about choices in life.
My novitiate was memorable for me in relationship with Maria. Maria became a role model for me of how to be a mother to my mind and my heart. One memorable experience touched my heart. The Indonesia Area sent four of us to attend Youth Day in Kalimantan. Coincidentally, the day of departure to Borneo was Mater’s Feast. This would be my last Mater’s Feast as a novice, and I wanted to celebrate her feast in the Novitiate. The night before leaving, I was nervous, because I wanted to celebrate Mater together. The morning we set off, I tried to be happy, but ... In the silence on the bus, I imagined my friends enjoying the feast at home in peace, and I was on my way.
St. Madeleine Sophie always helps me to find the positive in anything, whatever it is. So I decided to entertain myself by imagining how I could celebrate the Feast of Mater Admirabilis. In the silence of the bus, I heard the Virgin Mary say, "Lusni, my life that you celebrate was a journey!”
It is true that Mater Admirabilis’ feast happens because she was willing to take risks and willing to say "yes" to God through the angel, and so bring Jesus into the world. Starting a new life is an interior journey. Like Maria, I was beginning an inner journey, preparing to meet with young people and celebrate faith together, finding a new place with God in Kalimantan. I felt that Mary and Jesus were present and accompanied me on the journey.
After this experience, I discovered that life is a journey, a process. Process only stops when life has stopped. Aware that my relationship with Mater is still in a long process, I long to know her more closely, deeply and firmly.
I learned many things from this experience. I still find it hard to do what is not my own will, but it is very beautiful if I try it first before saying "no." Sometimes people know more what I need than I do. Maybe, if I had not gone to Borneo, I wouldn’t have had the deep experience with Maria.
Because of that experience, now I learn to do everything with trust. Convinced that if God wants something, nothing is impossible. Our primary task is to say yes, like Maria guided by God.
Happy Feast of Mater! Celebrate and savor every experience of her.
~ Lusni Sitanggang,rscj, Young Professed from Indonesia
